Recipe of a Week: Danger's Favorite Cinnam(b)on Rolls

For those of you who have ever visited an American shopping mall, the words "greatest cinnamon rolls in the world" and "Cinnabon" are synonymous. There is no other. All others are inferior. All others suck. Yes, that's right, because there literally is not a better cinnamon roll than those giant, sticky, gooey, cinnamony cinnamon rolls that Cinnabon faithfully doles out to the shopping public in food courts from Houlton to Honolulu to keep their blood sugar levels sustained for intense American-style capitalistic shopping adventures.

Well, my friends, through means which I am not at liberty to disclose, I have come upon the original recipe for Cinnabon cinnamon rolls. This closely guarded secret could sell for thousands, or tens of thousands, but I am revealing all to my faithful readers at a low, low introductory rate of: FREE! And best of all, this is a deliciously healthy recipe*.

So get your apron on and your rolling pin out, and let's make some cinnamon rolls!

INGREDIENTS:

Rolls -

5 pouches of active dry yeast 1 teaspoon salt
1 cup warm milk 2 eggs
1/2 cup granulated sugar 4 cups flour
1/3 cup butter, melted

Filling -

1 cup packed brown sugar
2 1/2 tbsp. cinnamon
1/3 cup butter, softened

Icing -

8 tbsp. butter, softened 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups powdered sugar 1/8 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup cream cheese

Prepare the dough:

1. Dissolve the yeast in the warm milk in a large bowl.
2. Mix together the sugar, butter, salt, and eggs. Add flour, and mix well.
3. Knead the dough into a large ball with your hands, dusted lightly with flour. Place in a bowl and cover, and allow to rise for about an hour (until doubled in size).
4. Roll the dough on a lightly floured surface into a giant rectangle until all of the dough is about 1/4 inch (1/2 cm) thick.

Prepare the filling:

1. Combine brown sugar and cinnamon in a bowl.
2. Spread the softened butter all over the rectangle of dough, corner to corner, coating it entirely and evenly.
3. Sprinkle the cinnamon sugar all over the butter covered dough, covering entirely.

Now, carefully roll up the dough working from one of the shorter sides, until you have spiraled the entire thing into one 'tube' of dough. Slice into 12 equal pieces, and place 6 at a time on a lightly greased cookie sheet.


Place into an oven preheated to 400F (204C), and bake for 10 minutes or until just before golden brown.

While they are baking, use an electric mixer and whip all icing ingredients together until light and fluffy.



Immediately coat the cinnamon rolls with icing, generously, while they are hot from the oven.

Eat while warm!!! These are amazing, delicious, and incredibly simple. Best of all, they are incredibly versatile and can be served for breakfast, lunch, snacks, or dinner. 12 is a lot of cinnamon rolls to make for even the most devoted Cinnabon enthusiast, and they are BIG, so you can freeze them. It takes about 30 seconds in a microwave to bring them back to life.

Ladies and gentlemen, rarely has a state secret been so openly divulged, so I implore you, get up from your computer, and go make these rolls now!

Beautiful, the only thing that's missing is the Cinnabon box...


* Please note, healthy in this context is based on a high fat, high sugar, 8000 calories/day diet.


This recipe has been awarded an emphatic 5 (count 'em, 5...) Ninja Star Throwing Oven Mits for its overall contribution to a happy society.